So last night I had a really great audition. It was intense, I felt goosebumps, and I'm pretty sure the director and casting director did too. It was for a student project, a scene study from the movie Closer (which is a pretty twisted, though well-written film), in which the director was actually using the original play script. It went so well, in fact, they asked me then and there to stick around and do a call-back that night, with an actor they liked for the opposite role, to get a chemistry read. While I was waiting around, they even dismissed one of the other girls they called back! Plus, I got a chance to chat with the guy I would be reading with. I had everything going for me!
I didn't get the part. They said I would know last night, and I haven't heard from them. But let's break this down as to why this isn't anything to cry about.
1. I loved my read. I felt like I got everything pretty much right, I was thinking character thoughts, and I was focused, something I have been working super hard on. I used a lot of the tools for auditions and scene work that I had been taught from my amazing teacher Joel Asher when I studied with him last year. I was making strong choices, and had a clear arc.
2. The director loved my read. At least, he said so. He loved it enough to want to test me with the other actor. He gave me good direction, and I felt like I made good adjustments.
3. Not getting the part pretty much means the other girl just had better chemistry with the other actor. That's a really tricky thing to try and manufacture, and is very much out of my control.
So what do I take away from all of this? I'm a good actor. There is nothing inherently wrong with my technique or my brand. And frankly, in this business, that can be an important thing to remind ourselves of. As actors we face rejection constantly, and we need to let ourselves find the victories where we can. Yes, it would have been great footage for my reel, but there will be other projects, and I can take the lessons I learned in this audition with me to the next one.